Thank you for the many responses on Twitter and comments on Woe Is ME...and "Stay At Home" Parents Everywhere. I have a few thoughts on being home with my kids...
Since I have been a mother, I have worked part time, worked full time, and stayed at home. Let's just get the BIG elephant in the room out of the way to begin with, shall we? I despise the title "stay-at-home mom". That's just me. When you ask me what I do, I will likely respond, "I am at home with my kids right now" or "I'm at home right now." For those that are at home full time with their kids, we all have a story, or I guess I am assuming we do, of how we became a stay at home parent.
Some days, most days, I get weepy and find myself in awe just watching my kids as they explore something new, or we read books as they pile on my lap, or catch a glimpse of them in the rear-view mirror.
Then, there are other days that I am jealous that my husband gets to "go" to work everyday, stop and grab a coffee if and when he chooses, or be alone with his thoughts as he drives to work [4 year olds never let you be alone with your thoughts, they have WAY too many of their own to share].
Then, because I am a mom, it starts to set in. You know "IT". Mom guilt. We can pretty much make ourselves feel guilty for anything! Right? Right.
The days when I am feeling used and abused*.
I mean, a simple thank you would be nice!
Or at least a hot shower.
Okay, I will just settle for brushed teeth.
It's true, I cannot find time to fit in a simple phone call. Do you know how kids act the minute you get on the phone? I stay up super late, not cleaning my house or preparing meals for the next day, but just doing a few things that I wanna do. Some moms get up early, but I have an early riser, so I'd have to get up super-duper early to enjoy any time for myself.
I'll tell you what I really do look forward to...lunch, coffee, or a drink with a friend. That has become a great way to re-energize when I am feeling all restless. What do you do?
*Please note this is a figure of speech only. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, if you or a family member is in a violent situation at home please get help today!
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3 comments:
Tracy!
You always make me feel better. I always feel like I start off my comments with "well I don't have kiddos but..." I will tell you that I struggle with the fact that I don't know if I want to have kids or not. I do sometimes but then sometimes I don't because I am so selfish with my time. I can tell you that even now without kids I feel like I have NO time to myself. I often get so FRUSTRATED because I work so hard and my cell phone is constantly ringing, the dog is barking, or the fiance wants something, or work is calling-I don't feel like I get any peace or solace now-so how could I have a child and enjoy the child. It is so sad-so I am struggling with wanting/needing a new career but at the same time really liking the one I have {on most days.}
I read all these blogs from stay at home housewifes and stay at home mom's and am SO envious and get SO down because I have to go to work. It just seems like everyone else always has so much more time than I do to craft, have gorgeous etsy shops, clean the house, make dinner, do laundry, and have an organized life. I want all of that. I am scrambling around all the time-my house is a hot mess, the laundry isn't done, the grocery shopping is not done, and I am not organized. I feel like a failure and not to mention I am exhausted. I feel like I try so hard and get knowhere and forget getting a THANK YOU for what I am doing from my other half. I get the critiques of what I'm not doing....
So back to my main point-perhaps the grass isn't always greener? Perhaps we both have the same problems whether we have kiddos or not? Perhaps there is no solution and it is what it is?
I don't know. What I do know is that you made me feel like I am not a failure by posting this.
Hugs to you luv,
gina
you know what i do??? i go to VA to have some fun (and completely immature) down time with some great ladies!! thoughts like that (and an US Weekly) are what is going to get me through the flight to see you!!! #DDFOREVER *CUPCAKE BUMP*
I know that a lot of women struggle with this issue - I used to when the kids were very little - they just take up so much extra physical and mental work to get all of their needs accomplished. I found it easier to make sure that there were built in breaks in the day - times that I could depend on to just have a second to think. When the phone would ring - I would take down a box of toys that they were only allowed to play with while I was one the phone - when a friend stopped by - we headed outside since that seemed to keep them the most interested...and regular mommy nights out and dates were what got me through. The kids are older now so it's no trouble to run out for a coffee if I want one but it's way more expensive buying for 5 instead of one. I hope that you are able to build in some breaks for yourself - but know that you aren't alone - we all struggle with the same issue. Great post.
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